RETURNING TO LIFE – Stop Accusing Teens of Being Spoiled

By: Michael Burns

“Teenagers today are so spoiled.  They are all just so entitled.”

If I’ve heard this accusation once, I’ve likely heard it a hundred, maybe a thousand times over.  Adults that look at the younger generation and assume what they see represents some form entitlement.  It is also why I believe funding for youth is so incredibly low and often at the bottom of people’s lists.  How can a generation that has everything possibly need more?  I can tell you firsthand that this perspective presents many challenges in raising financial support for services and programs for youth.  Don’t they already have more than enough?

Allow me to make a few observations and ask a few questions:

1. Teenagers do not create the world they live in; they inherit it.  We need to be very careful when hurling accusations at our youth, as they may be more reflective of ourselves than they are of our children.

2.  If our youth today are “spoiled” and they do in fact have “more than they need” where did all their possessions come from?  Since smart phones, expensive clothing, gaming systems, etc. do not just appear out of thin air, I think we need to examine ourselves again.

3.  If young people today do have an abundance of material possessions (and not all do) and yet continue to be dissatisfied and desire more, is it possible that the issue isn’t needing more but rather needing something with greater significance?

What the vast majority of adults write off as entitlement amongst our youth is actually the observation of a generation that has indeed been given much but is largely devoid of meaning.  To put it another way, we have given our youth a whole lot of “stuff” but that stuff offers nothing of value and worth.

The “entitlement” we see amongst our children and youth is the cry of a generation that has been given so much and yet found so little meaning in it.  It is the search of a generation longing for more.  Though they may not know what they are looking for and will often just seek more of the material (many adults are no different) it is our responsibility to help our youth find meaning and purpose in life.  Not only is it one of the three developmental tasks of adolescence, it is one of the most fundamental needs of humanity:  To know that we matter and that our lives have purpose and meaning.

The next time you see a teenager and you’re tempted to see them as spoiled or entitled, take a minute and ask yourself, “What are they really longing for?”  I can assure you it’s not more stuff but rather a life of meaning and significance.

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RE:SOUL Spring Fundraiser

As we explore these things over the coming weeks, I would like to invite your participation in two ways:

  1. I invite you to dialogue with us and join the conversation.  We all learn more in community, so press in, ask questions, challenge assumptions, and let’s take this journey together.
  2. I invite you to invest in our youth by participating in our Spring Fundraiser.  We are on the front lines of serving youth in our community and we are the only dedicated youth drop-in centre in Milton.  We are 100% donor funded and all of our funding comes from people like you, who care about community, who care about young people, and who care about the future.

Finally, for those who don’t know us well, RE:SOUL Youth Centre is a faith-based organization and we are a program of Southwestern Ontario Youth for Christ.  For some, knowing we are a faith-based organization creates both trust and affinity.  However, we also know that for others being faith-based creates both suspicion and aversion.  I recognize and understand both responses.  However, as we say to the teens all the time at the youth centre, “You don’t have to agree with us to be with us!”  So I would simply once again invite you to take the journey with us.  We all have much to learn from one another!

Sincerely, and with gratitude,

Michael Burns
Director
RE:SOUL Youth Centre / YFC Milton